I remember waaay back in High School, I think it was either psychology class or some health course, there was this chapter in a book describing the different types of love, in addition to what people would mistake for love (lust and infatuation, for example). I'm curious what the book was because I don't remember, and I don't recall all the categories either.

But my thoughts on some readings I've bumped into, along with how they may relate to who I am.

One article talks about 4 different types of Love: Security, Friendship, Romantic, and Unconditional.

Security Love is the kind of basic love we need as humans, to be cared for and nurtured, they type that parents have for their kids. For me, I think I had it, because my parents have supported me all the way. The sad thing is that we never really made it explicit and I think it's had it's effects on me.

Friendship Love is the kind of love with best friends, those with whom you are open, honest, and trustworthy, someone you are really comfortable. Supposedly, it is much easier to have this with someone of the same sex, because when it is with the opposite sex, it can develop or be misinterpreted as romantic love. But I think obviously that falls into the fallacy of generalization. I would like to think I have this kind of love with a few people, especially relationships that have really grown in recent years. In particular a few guys out there that I want them to know that I will be there in your time of need, just ask.

Romantic Love is ahhhh, that many of us so desperately anticipate and want. Supposedly the "makes you weak int the knees, butterflies in the stomach deal". See, for me I do not particularly like that to be wholly romantic love because I think there is more and it should definitely be beyond just physical attraction. OF COURSE that helps, but I think this type of love is certainly much clearer in absence, when one realize how much the other person means to you now that he/she is not there.
Here again is the idea that it should be just lustful love or infatuation. It should not be just being in love with the idea of being in love. I agree with Stephen Covey that love is a verb, not just a noun. As much as you are in love, you also should love; to do the actions that foster those feelings. This is certainly hard because it leaves us vulnerable and for those of us with baggage and feelings of insecurity and fear of rejection...well, it's hard to give and give and not feel like you are getting back.
Do I think that there is only one person who is our perfect match? Well, the romantic in me says yes, because that is what I think love develops into, you seeing that person as the only one for you and acting like it. That is important to me, because if you are thinking that there can be someone else out there, you need to be aware of how you may start undermining your current relationship. But does that mean that I believe your destined specifically for someone? I think that is like asking if we are the only intelligent life in the universe. You can believer either way and be happy about it. Once you've found someone that makes you feel like you are the one and the feeling is mutual, then make it be the one.

Lastly, unconditional love is the hardest of all. This is the love that lasts forever, the one is difficult because especially if we've gone through several relationships, we've slowly added conditions to protect ourselves. Theoretically, nothing can destroy unconditional love, but you cannot just take it for granted and not work at it. I only have unconditional love for maybe 2-3 people and let me tell you, it's hard, especially given how needy and self-interested we are as people. But just the same...it's a wonderful feeling and it is really meaningful to me, to give because I want to and choose to.

It still feels good to say and hear I love you...but they can be carefully guarded words and they are truly the best when they are earned.

Purple Quark signing out until next post. Actually, I think I just found out a chart that describes the types of love from that high school class. It's a little matrix that describes how much of the following each type of love has: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment.


Oh, and I recently ran into this article about the chemicals that work on the feeling of Love.